it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
