Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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