I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
