I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just google imaged poop.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
