Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize