I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
