Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
