you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
my liver is dry heaving
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
