I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Randomize
