Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
