she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
