You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize