So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
