The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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