Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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