plz talk dirty to me
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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