I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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