Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
COCAINE IS GR8
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
