Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
