dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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