I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
