I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
