She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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