Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
