After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
