I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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