my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
