I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
