i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
