i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
