she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
