Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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