Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
