real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
