why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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