how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
