Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
