Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
