CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she pinky promised me she was 18
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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