Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
