That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
