whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
