I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
