how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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