Having a random hookup so left but love u
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
