Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
