it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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