i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
