I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
