john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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