How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
