operation harelip BJ is a go
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
