And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
