Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
