My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
