i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
