Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
