Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
