Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
