I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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