I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
