suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
