I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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