just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
